The 5 Love Languages

In dealing with your mate, have you ever felt
like you were speaking English and they were
speaking Russian? I know we have felt that
way at times. Is there a solution?
Yes there is, but it takes a lot of time and
a willingness to step out of your own personal
comfort zone.

I guess you could say that is your first
assignment - step out of that comfort zone.
Here's what I mean.

In his book, The Five Love Languages,
Gary Chapman says that people have different
things that trip their love trigger. Things
that their loved one does that tells them they
are loved and cherished. If these things are
not done, the love meter is on empty.


There are five basic languages, although there
are many variations on the theme, each person
is different, sort of like we all speak a dialect!

Language of Service

This is when you do things for the one you love.
This could be mowing the lawn, building a house,
keeping the house spotless, washing and cleaning
the car. You serve the one you love in many ways,
and expect them to serve you back.


Language of Words

This is when you need to hear those three little
words, "I Love You", a lot. Also words of
appreciation, words of encouragement, words
that build up. If you don't hear them, you
don't feel loved. This is also how you express
your love to your mate.


Language of Touch

This is when you like to touch. I'm not talking
about love making here, just touching. A hug, a pat
on the arm, a stroke on the cheek will satisfy this
love language.


Language of Quality Time

Does your mate always want your undivided attention.
Do they get upset when you don't stop what you are
doing when they want to talk? Do they want to spend
alone with you without you doing the dishes or the
needlework or tinkering with your latest hobby
Your mate speaks Quality Time.


Language of Gifts

Now don't panic on this one. Gifts does not mean
that you have to go out and spend buckets of money
on them, they just like little rememberances.
A flower you picked on the way home, a pretty stone
a card, something you made, just so it is from you.


The assignment from all this is to discover your
mate's love language, and learn to speak it!
This is not as easy as it sounds, especially
if mowing the lawn does not make you feel
loved, but it really trips his trigger,
or brushing her hair is really a drag, but
she thinks it is the greatest thing going.
Watch your mate closely for the clues to their
Love Language. They speak it to you.
Give it a try. What can it hurt?

My predominant Love Language is Gifts.