Texts Sweet Thing sent me today...

I was nervous at first, it was big and long and went straight up! I had to try it, I eased myself onto it! I went up and down on it, I love Escalators Now!

Three advantages of getting a $50 note tattooed on your cock:
1. You can play with your money
2. You can see your money grow
3. Your girl can blow as much money as she wants....

A banana and a vibrator were sitting on a bedside table, the banana turns to the vibrator and says I don't know what you're shaking for, shes gunna fucking eat me!