Nicole and her cousin, my nephew William 

The 5 Love Languages

In dealing with your mate, have you ever felt
like you were speaking English and they were
speaking Russian? I know we have felt that
way at times. Is there a solution?
Yes there is, but it takes a lot of time and
a willingness to step out of your own personal
comfort zone.

I guess you could say that is your first
assignment - step out of that comfort zone.
Here's what I mean.

In his book, The Five Love Languages,
Gary Chapman says that people have different
things that trip their love trigger. Things
that their loved one does that tells them they
are loved and cherished. If these things are
not done, the love meter is on empty.


There are five basic languages, although there
are many variations on the theme, each person
is different, sort of like we all speak a dialect!

Language of Service

This is when you do things for the one you love.
This could be mowing the lawn, building a house,
keeping the house spotless, washing and cleaning
the car. You serve the one you love in many ways,
and expect them to serve you back.


Language of Words

This is when you need to hear those three little
words, "I Love You", a lot. Also words of
appreciation, words of encouragement, words
that build up. If you don't hear them, you
don't feel loved. This is also how you express
your love to your mate.


Language of Touch

This is when you like to touch. I'm not talking
about love making here, just touching. A hug, a pat
on the arm, a stroke on the cheek will satisfy this
love language.


Language of Quality Time

Does your mate always want your undivided attention.
Do they get upset when you don't stop what you are
doing when they want to talk? Do they want to spend
alone with you without you doing the dishes or the
needlework or tinkering with your latest hobby
Your mate speaks Quality Time.


Language of Gifts

Now don't panic on this one. Gifts does not mean
that you have to go out and spend buckets of money
on them, they just like little rememberances.
A flower you picked on the way home, a pretty stone
a card, something you made, just so it is from you.


The assignment from all this is to discover your
mate's love language, and learn to speak it!
This is not as easy as it sounds, especially
if mowing the lawn does not make you feel
loved, but it really trips his trigger,
or brushing her hair is really a drag, but
she thinks it is the greatest thing going.
Watch your mate closely for the clues to their
Love Language. They speak it to you.
Give it a try. What can it hurt?

My predominant Love Language is Gifts.

I'm taking part in a Child development course at the moment and one of the things I was told last week was that little girls who hear from their fathers or father figures things like 'you are pretty', 'your hair looks nice' that sort of thing are less likely to become sexually active at a young age.

The same goes for boys hearing things like 'you smell nice', 'your muscles are getting bigger' etc from their mothers.

Facing the fear and doing it anyway.

My second rubbish skip arrived yesterday which in some ways is a good thing, I get rid of all the shit that needs to go from the garage. But its also making me face a HUGE fear of mine...spiders. We have a pile of logs for our fire out in the backyard. I don't use the open fire, the hastle of facing the spiders, chopping the logs with an axe, carrying it them upstairs etc etc. I'd rather just switch on the oil heater. Much easier.

Anyways back to the wood pile. When my house was inspected after the floods by the Council Health Inspector the firewood went on his list of things that I needed to dispose of. Don't know why, but yeah, who am I to argue. So sometime over the next few days I have the delightful task of braving the spiders, and transferring all the wood round the house and into the skip. I shudder at the thought of it.

Wish me luck!

Baking Memories

I've been doing alot of sorting out and unpacking over the past few days. This morning I unpacked a box of kitchen gear that used to belong to my mother. In it were the muffin tins that my Mum and I used to make jam and christmas mince tarts in when I was a child.

I also found the plate that Mum was given as a gift when she left Playcentre. I'm going to buy a stand for it and put it next to the plate I was given when I left Playcentre.

How much trouble can one subbie create????

1. Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry that the vein above His right eye throbs.

2. "Quit it!" "OW, Damnit!" "i'm hinding that toy when You go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.

3. "Oh my God, where did you get those. They are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.

4. "Ya want fries with that?" "Want me to drink it for You too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.

5. Flipping your Master off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things.

6. Putting lube, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the ________ of Master on His toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.

7. Kicking the toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffes and make you crawl for it....repeatedly.

8. "Bite me." is NEVER an intelligent response to a command.

9. Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.

10. Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing, Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.

11. Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices His Japanese rope work on you will try His patience....quickly.

12. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while Master is discussing your punishment is not wise.

13. There is no such thing as slave immunity, fee slave day, or the PMS defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it!

14. Pretending Master's collection of buttplugs are toys and singing the "Weebles Wobble but the won't fall down" song is not a good idea.

15. Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play will get you punished.

16. Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same....or worse!

17. "i know You are but what am i?" is not the appropriate response when called a "raunchy little whore" during humiliation play.

18. Using spreader bars, paddles, or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.

19. "Missed me missed me now ya gotta kiss me!" is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.

20. When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says He wants to play, He doesn't mean hide-&-seek...He WILL find you eventually.

21. Calling Merry Maids whe you are ordered to spruce up the place is not what your Master had in mind.

22. "Faster faster we need a new Master" is NOT the song to sing during a scene.

23. "Oh and You think i am?" is an unacceptable response to hearing your Master say He is not pleased.

24. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes Master" when ordered to fetch something.

25. Adding "Sir" or "Master" to "Fuck that!" will not save you.

26. Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.

27. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Master up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay....BIG!

28. Arguing whether "Master may not be right, but Master is never wrong" is Zen or Buddist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner of a bed of Lego's "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation."

and last but not least....

29. Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit???" is considered a cry for help among submissive suicide prevention workers!

30. Reminding Master you are a switch will not get you out of trouble for ordering Him around.

31. Rolling your eyes when Sir gives you "That look" is not a good idea.

32. Even if you are fast enough to close the other bracelet of the cuffs around his wrist while he's closing the first one on yours, you probably shouldn't

I got this in an email from a BDSM group I belong to. Funny shit.

Exclusive Brethren

Last night I was watching a Inside New Zealand documentary about the Exclusive Brethren Cult. It made me think alot about people I went to school with. Cambridge seemed to be quite a popular place for alot of these families to live, in my year at school there were 3 children who were part of the sect.

I know that two of them are living in Tauranga now. One has left the sect, married and devorced a 'worldly', has a couple of kids and is now doing the unthinkable....attending PolyTech. The other I saw at the supermarket a month or two ago with lots of children and two older women. All with the 'look' of Exclusive Brethren women.

I went googling and found something written by Alan Jamieson about a book written by a woman who left the sect....

Behind Closed Doors: A Startling story of Exclusive Brethren Life

Alan writes - This book [the title of which is above] is Ngaire Thomas’ record of growing up, marrying and raising a family within the Exclusive Brethren church in New Zealand. It is an honest, open and generous portrayal of life in a legalistic Christian community. A community where rules ruled and an ever increasing list of personal restrictions and observances was required of everyone. Today as evangelicalism appears to be splitting between the more fundamentalist/ legalistic and more generously orthodox approaches to faith this is a timely reminder of where fundamentalism and literalism lead.

For example when the MOG (Man of God) decreed that if a woman’s hair was her crowning glory then it should hang loose so men could see it and admire it and to ensure it was long enough to dry a man’s hair (taken from the incident where the woman dried Jesus feet in the gospels) women were expected and forced to wear their hair down. There was no choice.

Describing life in this community Ngaire writes:

“There was no personal choice about how we lived, just obedience. The strange part about it was the way we so compulsively followed the leader, without questioning. Asking challenging questions just wasn’t done because this would show us up as doubters. Most of the time we weren’t even told that we had to do things, we just did them at the mere suggestion, for fear of being put out of fellowship. The enemy gets the stragglers we were told…..all these little things were so small, petty and insignificant on their own, but they added up to power and control, particularly over the women (p119-120).”

Sadly in all the rules and drive to be outwardly ‘holy’ sexual abuse and particularly family sexual abuse of children seemed to be both common and poorly dealt with. What is it about such male dominated, rule based forms of Christianity that they harbour and protect such destructive behaviour?

Ngaire recalls “there were a lot of public confessions in the meetings, about a vast number of different things, especially sexual immorality. It was really sordid listening to public confessions about private things. It was a kind of legitimized voyeurism, producing a confused mixture of holy resentment, fear and excitement. But it wasn’t so amusing when it happened to our own family. (p112)”

This is a well written, easy to read account. It is also sobering and disturbing. Is it this approach to faith that a large [section] of the Christian community is heading towards again?

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever. Live strong

I'm famous!

I enter the chatroom I often frequent, and the first thing I see is this...

(11:18:46am)(Notice) [Insert Infamous One's nick here]: whore alert, everyone /umode +m

Funny thing is that when we were together it was my sexualness that he liked. Dunno what made him Notice everyone with that though, I rarely PM anyone. Besides which, I thought we had made peace?

Oh well, I'm not going to waste sleep over it or anything.

MiNe!

Nicole's Bedroom

My New Car!!

Its a 91 Mitsubishi V3000 Executive!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

It feels like Christmas at my house! My new bed and furniture are arriving today and I'm going to pick up my new car that I bought last night this afternoon!

My new jewelery.

Nicole chose it when we were in Australia. The pink isn't really me at all, but I can live with it. Its not like many people see it anyhow. Though I do vaguely remember showing it to people at a party....

Billy, Nicole's 18 month old cat.

Fantom, my 10 year old female cat.

Fantom likes sleeping IN bed with me during the winter. She claws Nicole when she trys to hop into bed with me in the middle of the night. A good deterrent.

Hey you?!

Yes you! I know you read my blog regularly!

I want you to click on 'My Guest Map' on the right hand side, wait for it to load, and place your pin!

Doooooooooo it, now, please??

Cyber Sex

I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately,
so I decided to try to figure out what it meant.

I figured it had something to do with the computer,
so I tried to find the sex drive on mine.

I looked everywhere, in all the folders on
My Computer, the Add/Uninstall software,
install hardware part of the control panel,
then I got out all the manuals and went through them.

I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one.

So I decided to go to the computer store
to see if I could buy one.

Well, the salesperson in the first store was a
rather stern looking woman. I gave her the make
and model of my computer and asked her if she
had any sex drives in stock.

She kinda scowled at me and asked if I was
trying to get smart with her. Then she said,
rather rudely I thought, that she could not help me
and walked away.

Huh must not have had any in stock

In the second store, the salesguy kind of snickered
and asked if I meant a hard drive.
I thought about it for a minute and told him
'Yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already
have one install ed'.

He started laughing and said something about me killing him. 'You're killing me' like that and walked away.

Hmmm must be out here too.

The guy in the third store ,laughed and asked me
if I'd fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I'd
never been on a turnip truck but I had fallen off
the wagon a few times. He said that explains
it and walked away laughing.

The guy in the fourth store said something like
boob under his breath and walked away,
wonder why he only noticed one!

Anyway, I figured they must not carry them in
stores, maybe have to order from a catalogue
or something.

So that's where I am now.

So if any of you have some computer skills
and could help me locate my sex drive,
I would appreciate it.

I found this on someone's profile on a BDSM site I go to on occasion. I thought it was hilarious!

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

Another email from an old school friend of mine. I particularly like Number 2. I've shed too many tears during my life over people who are simply not worth it.

How to clean a keyboard :\

I dunno if it works, but if it does it would be something useful to all the cyber sex junkies with bad aim.

Kubla Khan

A VISION IN A DREAM

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree :
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round :
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree ;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh ! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place ! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war !
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves ;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice !
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw :
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome ! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

It was less than an hour after we got to your place. I went to the bathroom and was washing my hands when you knocked on the door. I let you in, you locked the door behind you. We started kissing....it was probably our second or third 'real' kiss since we had arrived.

Our hands started to wander, I was rubbing your crotch through your jeans. I could feel you were already excited. You were caressing my breasts. I fumbled with your belt, you giggled and showed me how to undo it, your jeans sliding down your legs. You were wearing black satin boxers, with a tent in the front. I pulled them down, releasing you.

Gave you one more kiss then I crouched in front of you. Sliding your hard cock into my mouth for the very first time. I kept my eyes on yours as I sucked and licked you. I saw that you were enjoying the sensations immensely.

I deep throated you, then you pulled me up by my hair and kissed me deeply. You undid my jeans and tugged them and my panties down. I leant back against the bathroom vanity as you dropped to one knee and started exploring my wet core with your tongue. It felt heavenly. You opened me up with your fingers and savoured my pink flesh.

I was lost in the moment. Next thing I knew you were kissing me again, your hardness pressing up against my stomach. Looking into my eyes you hoarsely whispered that you want to be inside me. We didn't have a condom handy, but at that moment I don't think either of us cared. I perched on the edge of the bathroom sink as you slid your cock into me.

You fucked me. Slowly and sensually at first, then harder and rougher. The way I like it. We gazed into each other's eyes, not quite believing it was finally happening. Not wanting to risk cumming inside me you pulled out. I dropped to my knees again, still wearing my long black boots, and sucked you dry.

We went on to fuck at least three times more that day...

Submissive/Dominant Test

The submissive one You scored 35

Based on these results, we can see that you're submissive. You dont sacrifice your own desires for your partner, but you certainly put your partner's needs before your own, and you are relatively obedient.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 1% on domsub

Link: The Are you Dominant or submissive Test written by nahemah on Ok Cupid

Father and son (both adults, I should add) are at a party with various family members, friends, workmates etc. Workmate is regaling son with rather dirty stories of his sexual exploits. Son says to workmate 'Well if you want to get a chick off bigtime...use an electric toothbrush on her clit, it makes them explode'. Father overhears this, turns round with his mouth open and splutters 'How do you know so much?'

Because I told him. LOL

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you..

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. A Minute:
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.Take the time... to live and love.

This is sappy, but kinda nice. An old school friend of mine sent it to my email.

Hi, I've come to fix your fridge ;)

This morning has been all about fridges....

I was chatting to an online friend of mine when a electrician turned up to fix a power point. My friend reminded me of a conversation he and I had over a year ago about bad 70s porn with men arriving as tradespeople and fucking 'the lady of the house'. It was something we talked and laughed about a lot at the time.

Then later in the morning I refused to put any shopping into my Nana's fridge until I had cleaned it. It was disgusting. Anyway, I think it was the dirt that was making the thing run. Its clean now....but don't work anymore. Nana is slightly pissed at me, she didn't think it looked dirty in the first place. That visit to the optometrist is loooong overdue Nana! Time to stop being stubborn and admit the fact that YOU CAN'T FUCKING SEE!

Anyways back to the fridge, she wants me to get someone to come and take a look at it. Hopefully that person won't look like Ron Jeremy? Personally I think just buying a new fridge would be the safer option...that fridge was bought second hand about 20 years ago. We shall see..