RIP Billy

Billy, Nicole's cat, has been missing for over 3 weeks now. I think we've come to the acceptance that he isn't coming back :(

Umm

I got an email this morning saying someone has placed a pin in my guest map. But I can't see it? Who stole it?!

The Cheating Heart

I had another conversation with a guy who lives an hours drive away from me today. He's in his 40s, married (unhappily) and has two children. Right from when I first met the guy he's been pushing for some sort of sexual relationship with me. I've made it clear to him multiple times that I'm NOT interested.

Today things kind of came to a head. He told me, again, that his wife was taking the children and leaving him. And then hinted that he and I could then be together. I was rather blunt. I told him that I'm not at all interested. I have never given him any reason to think otherwise, he knows where my heart lies. And besides which, there's no way I could ever trust someone who I know cheated on their wife.

This kind of reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Suzanne the other day. A couple of years ago her husband had an affair and eventually she got smart and booted him out. Now he's with another woman. Suzanne was saying its really only a matter of time before he strays on this woman too. She's probably right too.

Not enough Kiwifruit Workers

Apparently Tauranga has an extremely low unemployment rate at the moment so the Kiwifruit industry is panicking because they aren't able to find enough employees to fill all their picking/packing jobs. The Kiwifruit season is due to get into full swing next month.

Last year I looked into doing packing. They expect you to work ridiculous hours. Like from 7.00am to 8.30pm. That simply doesn't work for me. Its also horrible work, standing on concrete floors for hours in the cold. The money is reasonable with minimum wage starting at $10.25/hour.

Australian Media get it WRONG

The other day I woke up to the radio news screaming headlines about how two male members of the Kiwi Commonwealth Games had sexually assaulted a female member. I thought that was pretty shocking. The Herald Sun claimed that the two males had alledgedly tried to strip the woman and urinate on her.

Today the Herald Sun ran a smaller article describing the incident as a 'non-event'. Apparently the trio had been out drinking and the two men had tried to throw the woman into a pond that they'd just exited. It was all just drunken tom-foolery that had been totally misinterpreted by the media. The woman's biggest concern about the whole incident was that her shoes got wet.

A big thumbs up to the Australian Media!

Petrol

There were 2 stories that made me go 'hmmm' on this morning's news.

1. The world price of crude oil has gone down. This is great, I think, means our petrol prices will go down soon!

2. The price of petrol has gone up another 8 cents/litre. Like, what the fuck? Now we are paying $153.9/litre for Unleaded91. I remember a few years ago when it cost 79.9/litre.

Its almost getting too expensive to run a car now days!

Anyways, I'm off to Bayfair with my friend Suzanne for the day. Fuck this staying home bullshit.

Do not go gentle into that good night. A poem by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I've never been all that 'into' poetry with the major exception of Kubla Khan by Coleridge, which I have hanging on my bedroom wall. For some reason, however, this poem has come to mind this morning. Its about death and not quietly dieing.

For me, this morning, and the way I'm feeling, this poem speaks about not bending to other's will. Of being strong enough to stand, no matter what gets thrown at me. I freely admit I'm not a perfect person, I have my faults, but so does everyone else. I refuse to 'fuck off and die' just because someone else tells me to.

Sorry to disappoint :)

Congratulations! We have a winner!

I've just read something that someone wrote about me. It was something that I'm sure they had NO intentions of me seeing. I had my suspicions, but now I know for sure that this person is one of those 'fake friends', one of those people who is buddy buddy with you to your face, yet talks crap about you behind your back.

Well, for their deceptions they've earned a big "FUCK YOU, TOO" :)

"You're such a fake it's true
I can't believe the words you say"
Lyrics from Cold's song Suffocate

"Getting Ready for a Flu Pandemic"

I received an information pack in the mail today from the Ministry of Heath. It describes all the things I should be doing in preparation for this supposed Pandemic. Like keeping a supply of food, having a list of the neighbours phone numbers (dunno what for? I wouldn't ask them for anything if we got sick) and a big write up about how hand washing is the best form of protecting yourself against the spread of germs. At Nicole's school the children are being taught to sing 'Happy Birthday' as they wash their hands and that the have to keep rubbing their hands with soap for the entire length of the song.

Last week a Newsletter came home from Nicole's school talking about their 'Influenza Pandemic Action Plan'. And there's a big poster up on the notice board in the office at work describing what would happen in the event of a Pandemic.

All this information about this supposed Pandemic has gotten me thinking. Is this a reality? Or just mass hysteria on the part of the Government? Should I seriously be worried about this? If there was a world outbreak of this, is it even likely to effect New Zealand? After all New Zealand is pretty isolated from the rest of the world... I know when there was that SARS outbreak a few years ago, we had approximately 2 cases of it. And if I remember correctly, that couple had just returned from overseas somewhere.

My mechanic rocks!

When I took Nicole to swimming lessons on Friday I noticed a strange noise in my car's front wheel every time I applied the breaks. This morning I took my car over to the mechanics across the road. The dude took my car for a drive around the block to hear the noise, then took it into the garage and removed my wheel and took out some stones that were stuck in the mechanisms somehow and were causing the noise. And he didn't charge me.

A big thumbs up to Russell and his team!

Veiw from the beach closest to my house.

Pretty pictures

New Colours

I've finally managed to ditch the generic colours that came with this template in favour of something that matches my banner. Whatcha think?

Thank you Uncle for all your help with this! You rock!

Well done Moss!

New Zealand's Moss Burmester won the men's 200 metres butterfly gold medal at the Commonwealth Games on Thursday.

The 24-year-old Burmester led from start to finish to set a new Commonwealth Games record of one minute 56.64 seconds.

Australia's Travis Nederpelt flashed home to take the silver in 1:57.26 just ahead of his countryman Joshua Krogh who collected the bronze in 1:59.18.

Burmester was raised in Tauranga but is now based in Auckland. He became the first New Zealand man since Danyon Loader in 1994 to win a Commonwealth swimming gold.

After his formal victory ceremony, Burmester's bare-chested team mates performed a spontaneous traditional haka war dance.

Moss was a mate of my brother John's when they were about 11/12 years old. He was very into swimming then.

Thinking about tapes...

When I was cleaning up after the floods I discovered Nana had 10 tapes which my brother and I made when we were children for them. They mostly have my Dad's voice on them along with ours. But there are a few with my mum on them. I listened to a couple of them today, and cried a bit...

It was strange hearing both my parent's English accents. People say that my Dad still has an English accent. I don't notice it at all. I don't doubt its still there though.

I lived in Rarotonga, Cook Islands for 3 years when I was a child. I picked up a weird accent there. It was almost like a South African accent. I vaguely recall the two girls who lived next door being from there. I'm not sure. I do remember being teased when I came back to New Zealand for 'talking differently'.

Perhaps that's why I've got a 'thing' for accents now? Oh well.

Its my party, and I'll cry if I want to...

I've been keeping to myself a lot today. I've got stuff on my mind, and I feel pretty damn antisocial. We all have days like that, yes?

A while back I sorted though all my old cassettes and got rid of most of them. I don't even have a tape deck in my car anymore. I did keep some, one in particular has been on my mind a bit the last day or so.

A few days before my 18th birthday party I made a mix tape. I listened to it today. I still remember all the words to the songs. This afternoon I've been downloading the songs on it and making it into a CD. Like the tape it will be called 18 Mix. LOL

Want to know what songs I liked when I was 18? Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyways...
Love Shack - B-52s
Janie's Got a Gun - Aerosmith
Nathan Jones - Bananarama
The Riddle - Nik Kershaw
I love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett
War - Tour of Duty Soundtrack
Hair - Hair Musical Soundtrack
Sister Madly - Crowded House
It's My Party - Leslie Gore
To Sir, With Love - Lulu
Starman - David Bowie
Venus - Bananarama
Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
Jefferson Starship - We Built this City

A unusual choice for an 18 year old, I'm thinking? Only a handful of those songs were from 1990 or there abouts. Some of them were from the 60's. I must have been a really strange kid.

The original tape I made has both my younger brother and sister's voices on it. They were notorious for recording their voices on whatever tape they could get their little hands on. John would have been 8 and Christine 5/6.

Your Birthdate: November 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others. Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy. Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas. Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges. Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom Your power color: Tangerine Your power symbol: Ace Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Glutton for Punishment

"Please Sir, may I have some more?"

I feel both frustrated and sad that a good friend of mine may be considering doing something that will end in heartache and all the other emotions that go along with that.

RIP Fiona

Worth, Fiona Astral May. On March 6, 2006, suddenly, at home. Dearly loved and most precious wife of Chris, most treasured mother of Evania, Karina, Morgan, and Aydon, awesome stepmum of Nick, Ben, and Tim (Brazil), most wonderful Nana Fi of Jade, and best second mum of Jamie. "So dearly loved and sadly missed by all." A service for Fiona will be held today Thursday, March 9, at 1pm, at Grahams Funeral Home.

RIP Nicole's 'Nana Fi'.

I feel guilty for feeling a bit insulted on Nicole's behalf that she wasn't mentioned in the obituary. And that we weren't informed of her death until a week after the fact, so didn't have the opportunity to attend the funeral service.

All that aside...Fiona was a very gentle lady who made a point of trying to include Nicole into their family. Her passing is very tragic and sad.

A week in the life...!

Wow I've had a busy week!

I've been banned from 3 forums and the chatroom that I usually frequent!

The first of the forums was my fault...I was angry and posted stuff that reflected that.

The other two forums were because some silly tramp threw a temper tanty and got me banned.

As for chat. There this total idiot who frequents the place. A few nights ago he has this conversation:
(07:57:16pm)(MOTLEY_CRUE) my dick is the same size as a carrot or a lil bigger (07:57:27pm)(sexfan) Measurements?
(07:57:51pm)(MOTLEY_CRUE) well its 8 inches when it gets hard
(07:58:33pm)(sexfan) My carrot is 11 inches and always hard
(08:05:03pm)(MOTLEY_CRUE) i wish i was that carrot

Who wouldn't laugh at that? Its wrong on so many levels! So I bring that up and tease him about it. He throws complete hissy fits and starts abusing everyone. He keeps getting banned.

Last night one of the operators from the chat had words with me. He said he's 'sick of banning morons because I've been playing with them'. Then informed me that I'll be getting all of this dude's bans.

Tonight I come back from Nicole's swimming lessons to find that I'd been banned because that same guy decided to act like a twat to someone.

I found it all rather funny. Interesting approach Anarchy ;)

My Adventures in Adult MatchMaker Chat

I joined up to this site a few months back. I aren't a regular user of the site. I kept getting emails depicting my 'matches', I got sick of that so went into the site to delete my profile. It was complete bullshit anyways....like I'm really an elderly man! LOL

So anyways I'm browsing the site. I discover they have a chatroom. I decided to check it out. This is my conversation:

Me: So why haven't half of you other dudes got pictures on your profiles?
Cheating Bastard: I do it on purpose, I wouldn't want my partner's friends seeing me.
Me: You have a partner?? What the fuck are you doing here then?
Random Chick: This IS a sex site.
Me: If you're partner doesn't make you happy, why not be a man about it and break it off with her?
Cheating Bastard: I prefer to see how things pan out before I do that.
Me: You mean you prefer to CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER in the hope that something 'better' will show up, WHILST YOU LET YOUR PARTNER WASH YOUR DIRTY UNDIES, COOK YOUR MEALS AND LOOK AFTER YOUR KIDS.
Me: So how old are your kids? Do they know that their father likes to fuck around?
Cheating Bastard has left the chatroom.

I seriously couldn't believe this dude. What the fuck does he think he's doing?

I've Been Tagged!

My first time thanks to Ayannali!

Hmm this requires some thought!

Target of Perfect Partner: Male (duh! Really!)

My perfect partner:

1. Would embrace and enjoy my 'bratiness', but honestly tell me when he thinks enough is enough.
2. Be taller than me.
3. Be open to, if not already share some of my sexual kinks.
4. Accept Nicole as a part of the relationship. She is part of the package that is 'Emma'.
5. Live somewhere where I can see him daily.
6. Would have a sense of humour and make me laugh.
7. Would help out where needed without being asked and without making a big deal out of it.
8. Be clean! Daily showers, hairwashing, cleaning teeth! lol

Now for me to do some tagging!
Star

Michele

Lunamoon

DaNi3L

Dark Prophet

Good luck Dooooooooooooods! May the force be with you, n stuff!

My elvish name

Gilraen Sindanárië

Try it for yourself

This make me SICK!

The National Party has renewed its calls for an inquiry into the Corrections Department after the woman sentenced for the manslaughter of baby Lillybing said she took drugs while in prison and claimed that jail was not that hard.

Rachealle Namana, 33, also said she used her cellphone to access pornography while in prison and said she continued to associate with former inmates who were gang members.

Lillybing died on July 23, 2000, aged 23 months, from cerebral swelling after being shaken violently by Namana, her aunt.

Lillybing's death followed abuse over the preceding days and she also had potentially fatal abdominal bruising and lacerations to her genitals.

She had heavy bruising on her forehead, chin and mouth, severe scald burns to her forehead, the top of her head, cheeks and eyelids, loose teeth, and cuts on her legs and thighs. There were also friction burns on her fingers and wrists.

Namana and another of Lillybing's aunts, Rongomai Paewai, knew of these injuries at least 36 hours before Lillybing's death but failed to get medical help for her till it was too late.

Namana, a former kohanga reo worker, was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to six years' imprisonment.

She also admitted wilfully ill-treating Lillybing in a violent toilet-training incident.

She and Paewai were both convicted on charges of failing to provide the necessaries of life and wilful ill-treatment.

Paewai was sentenced to two years' imprisonment.

The Sunday Star-Times reported yesterday that Namana was freed from jail on parole last year and had finished her probation last month.

She was now living in Gisborne with her brother, his partner and their toddler.

Namana said she had met gang members, including an Auckland gang Crip "jail sister" who was among the group that killed South Auckland pizza delivery man Michael Choy.

She said she thought about Lillybing and did not have an explanation for what she had done.

She told the newspaper she smoked methamphetamine or P while in prison, used her cellphone to download pornography and said jail was "fine".

"It's not as hard as people make out," she said.

She also said she had not been rehabilitated. "Do I look like I've turned my life around?"

Former Christchurch Women's Prison boss Celia Lashlie told the newspaper Namana needed to "grow up" and take stock of the fact that she had killed a child.

National's law and order spokesman Simon Power said yesterday that the Government could not turn a blind eye to what was happening.

"There are some pretty rotten things going on in our prisons.

"We've seen prisoners sleeping in vans and a big increase in smuggling contraband into prisons. We've heard the suggestion that criminals should be prison guards, seen budgets blown, and prisoners accessing violent movies," Mr Power said.

Add to that the Namana situation "and there's no denying the system is in crisis".

There should be a wide-ranging inquiry into the Corrections Department, he said.

Shoot the bitch! Seriously. If she STILL doesn't feel remorse for what shes done, does the human race really need her input? This woman is the same age as me, and the little girl she murdered was 3 months older than Nicole. I remember reading about it at the time and crying because of the pain that poor baby went though. What is wrong with people??

Something people take for granted is when saying, "I LOVE YOU." If I say this to you, no matter who you are, you better treasure it. You can be sure it's coming straight from the heart.

S-T-A-L-K-E-R

From my Stats counter:
CPE-144-132-52-232.vic.bigpond.net.au (Telstrainternet25)
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia, 71 returning visits

From the Chat room:
·Nickname: xena
·Name: http://www.itsdamntrue.com
·Identity: sjava
·Host: 144.132.52.iR640=

71 visits this month! Hang on...its the 4th! Holy Shit! The woman is obsessed with me!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Where is she?

Away from bullshit net drama that doesn't really matter anyways and onto something real and concerning....

I spoke to one of the Plunket nurses today. She'd been out to see my sister and her two babies last week. Christine's partner came out of the house and told her that Christine had taken the two children and left, he didn't know where to. The Plunket nurse said there were other people in the house that kept looking out of the door and there was kids toys laying around outside. Karen, the Plunket Nurse said that it was obvious that he was lying to her and something strange was going on.

April/May last year Christine went to the Woman's Refuge with her kids, they flew her to Dunedin to stay with her mother. Apparently she was there less than a week before she took her kids and headed back to her abusive partner. Silly girl!

I feel really sad that my sister thinks that she has to stay with a little thug that treats her so badly. I hate it that my 2 little nephews are growing up learning that the way you treat your women is to beat the fuck out of them. I despise feeling so helpless, she's 21 and is entitled to make her own decisions. But I really wish she'd make a decent one regarding this toss pot!

So anyways the big question is: Where is Christine? Was she actually at the house but the partner didn't want the Plunket Nurse to see her and the boys? If so, why not? If she isn't there...then where the hell is she? Is she alright? Are Brooklyn and Letrent alright? What the hell is going on?

The Plunket Nurse is concerned too. She thinks something is seriously amiss. She's gunna refer things on to her superiors. I'm worried....

In the words of 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan: "HOOOOOO!"

I've gotten myself into a situation I don't really want to be in. A friend of mine has a new girlfriend who used to date another close friend of mine. The girlfriend was flirting inappropriately and totally disrepecting my friend (not a new thing for her to do to her boyfriends), he asked her to stop. She belittled him and blew him off. He asked a favour from me, to flirt with him, thus proving a point that it hurts and she should stop. I thought sure, I don't like this woman, I don't care if she dislikes me more.

So anyways I do this, next I know she's calling me a 'fat whore' and my friend, who I was doing the favour for, was saying nothing. I am offended that he didn't tell the silly tart to pull her head in and not speak about his friend like that.

I'm guessing the rules for their relationship are something like this....

She's allowed to: flirt inappropriately with whomever she likes, get upset if he tries to talk to her about it, insult and diss his friends, be friends with whomever she wishes, tell him who he is to be friends with, belittle him, disrespect him, overlook his feelings....

He's allowed to: .........feel bad?

And I'm the whore??? Like hell. Its all fucked up.