Monday, February 28, 2005

Net Addict?

Are You an Internet Addict?

LoL I had to take this one....

Congratulations, You are 47% addicted to the internet

"Your Internet usage is at a healthy level. You are gaining maximum enjoyment and interlectual stimulation without getting too drawn into the vices of the net. You classify as a recreational Internet user. Be careful, it only takes one active forum and you'll be on your way the heavy Internet usage."

Purity Test..

Good for a laugh...

'You are 17% Pure'

'You are a wild thing. You have done pretty much most of whats on this list. Is there anything you haven't done or won't do?'

The answer to that is...yes, there is things I haven't done, nor would ever do.

Take the Purity Test



So I was lieing in bed Saturday night....

Listening to the people up the road's party. When I hear a noise in the backyard. I sit up and keep listening. It sounds like footsteps....its right outside my bedroom window. I see a hand come in through the open window and pull aside my curtain. I pick up a shoe and throw it at him, then yell at him to 'Fuck off before I slit your fucking throat'. Eloquent aren't I?

I get up and close the window, seeing this guy disappear over the back fence. Then I went around closing all the downstairs windows and called the cops. They come and cruise round looking for this guy, don't think they caught him...they never came back. It wasn't till I had calmed down and turned the lights off trying to go to sleep that the realization hit me that had I not been awake, the guy might have succeeded in getting into my house.

Scarey shit.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Can they ever work out right??

I was talking to an online friend of mine tonight and she confided in me that her relationship had ended. I was really shocked with this, her and her ex had met online and been talking for several years before he made the big move to her place. And it was a big move...from bacherlorhood in America to suburbian Australia. Plus the added complication of her two children.

Apparently it went well for the first few months, but then the cracks started to show. He was yearning for his freedom and she wanted to settle down. I'm really surprised at this whole thing, I would have thought they sorted all this sort of thing BEFORE he moved.

I guess my feelings on net relationships have been confirmed once again... they suck. Even the ones who eventually meet seem to end in disaster. Someone slap me if I ever even consider getting into one again.

I HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!!

I HAVE LURKERS!!!

Werhoo!! Party Party!! I would like to formally welcome my stalker to my blog. I hope it gives you many hours of fun and interesting reading. And I would like to dedicate the following picture to you!

Friday, February 25, 2005


Letrent being wrapped up by the hospital nurse. Aged about 24 hours. Posted by Hello

Baby William, my Nephew. Posted by Hello

Nicole holding her cousin Letrent with her Uncle Mark sitting next to her. Posted by Hello

Nicole and her cousin Jade who we met for the first time in January. Posted by Hello

Muh house! Posted by Hello

Another one!

My new Step-Niece is called Ana-Sofima. Her name is apparently part Italian and part Samoan. She was born on the 8th February to my step brother Royden and his girlfriend Katrina.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Hmm I'm in a very mellow mood. I'm listening to Someday by Nickelback and looking through the old posts on my gamers board from like a year ago.

I've met a huge amount of people in this cyber community I've been a part of for 18 months or so. I was looking through the past posts and names on my gamers board and feeling a bit nostalgic. There's a lot of people I used to be close to, but have now either 'left' or I don't talk to anymore. I've had drama and bullshit with these people, but I've also had fun. Right now I'm choosing to remember the fun times.

Probably the one I missed the most with my 'Baybee' NymPh. We caused so much mischief and trouble. But it was hella fun. Shame things turned out the way they did. But life doesn't stay still, things change,.... people change. Oh well!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Our 'other' family

Our other family consist of Wayne and Teresa, their two daughters Sailekia and Nikkita. Sailekia is 22 and engaged to Shawn, she also has a daughter of her own Aimee. And Nikkita, usually known as Nikki is 17 and in a relationship with Mark.

I met them just before Christmas 1996 at a ToughLove Parent Support group meeting. I was going there because I was raising my brother John and sister Christine at the time. They were going their because their eldest was playing up too. It turned out that John and Sailekia were good buddies and part of the same crowd at school.

So our two families got to know each other well. We had joint family BBQs, went swimming together, alsorts, it was fun... John started to come round a lot with the male contact of Wayne. Wayne and Teresa even took in John's older brother Tauraki when their mother flew him up to Tauranga from the South Island, then kicked him out less than a week later.

They had their own family problems though. As well as Tauraki, they had Sailekia's 18 year old boyfriend Robert boarding with them. They were sure that nothing sexual was happening between Robert and Sailekia. They were wrong. Sailekia started missing a lot of school because she had a sore back and felt sick. An appointment was made for her at the doctors, and because both her parents were working I took her.

The pregnancy test came back positive, that same day Robert moved out, never to be seen again. Sailekia was 14, she had her 15th birthday 2 weeks before she had her baby. Sailekia gave birth to Aimee, me and Christine were both there. Aimee's name comes from my real name Emma spelt backwards.

The next year when I found out I was pregnant, Sailekia was the first person to know. Nicole was born one year and nine days after Aimee was. Teresa was there at the hospital with me. Their family were the first visitors. Nicole and Aimee are still very close. They call each other sisters.

We don't see their family as much as we used to these days. They are busy with their lives, and now live the other side of town instead of just up the road.

I miss them.

Billy went 'fishing' and caught 'a big one'

Billy, my daughters 11 month old fluffy ginger kitten went fishing this morning and proudly caught a big one. He then proceeded to 'kill' it all over the bathroom floor. Pretty fucking gross!

Thing is the thing he went fishing in was the toilet...

I must remind Nicole to remember to flush, in future.

Saturday, February 19, 2005


My nephew Aex Posted by Hello

Isn't it funny...

That you can be having a perfectly fine day, then someone says something without thinking that hurts you, and it completely fucks up your outlook for the rest of the day. I hate that.

Friday, February 18, 2005

What tree did you fall from?

I fell from a....
Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.



This is quite interesting and fun. What tree did you fall from?
Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is really cool and somewhat accurate. Then send it to all your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out what tree they fell from, but don't forget to change the subject line to your tree. Be sure to read the description of your tree below!

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Po plar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
YOUR TREE (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attract ive, elegant, friendly,< BR>>unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on >others, self-confident, a great speaker, Determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely fami ly oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, ha tes contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egotistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualiti es, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves a greeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both depen dent and independent, go od taste, extremely generous, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Me?

I was having a conversation with a friend about different personality types. This is how he described me...


'You? I'd say, bubbly, energetic, fun loving, caring and kind. Also very forward'

Is that me?

Why the fuck...

..is my sidebar at the bottom?

I didn't do anything to it! Does anyone know how to fix it? Please?? :S

It looks gay like this...

The Koru

Life, Movement, Growth

The koru shape is a scroll shape and is linked to the New Zealand fern plant. The shoot of the fern has a curled-over tip which unfurls and becomes a fernleaf.

The koru reaches towards the light, striving for perfection, encouraging new positive beginnings...

The koru, represents the unfolding of new life, that everything is reborn and continues. It represents renewal and hope for the future.

Spiral, geometry of life, sacred creation...

Thursday, February 10, 2005

They make my skin crawl

I've never liked spiders, but recently it feels like I've been dogged by white tailed spiders. While we were away at the 'outlaws' place over the holidays, I was bitten twice by one in my bed. I ended up needing a needle of antibiotics and a large dose of oral ones.

It was a trained attack spider, I'm sure of it. Put there by the outlaws to do me in so they can steal my daughter. Okay. Okay that's probably a bit of an overreaction. LOL

In the past week I've killed 4 of the buggers. 2 in the lounge, 1 in my daughters room and 1 in the downstairs bathroom. I've been told its the heat that's making them wanna come into the houses. I hate the little bastards!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Ahh fuck

Do you ever have the feeling that you're invisable?

I've had it alot lately, and I don't like it. I know i'm a bit of an attention whore sometimes. But I also like the times when i'm by myself, doing my own thing and don't have to communicate with people. At the moment i'm guessing its loneliness, discontent and frustration.

You see, this year I have goals. Normally I live my life day to day and just roll with it, but this year i've got big plans. But to have them come together, certain things must happen along the way. And they simply aren't.

Frustration has always been something I don't react well to, and with these situations its worse in many ways, the goals mean alot to me. Fuck, I know i'm rambling here as my mind goes from one random thought or feeling to another. In the words of Michael/Stinger/John/Ghostdog/duncan/whatever name he chooses to use today or 3 weeks ago................... "Fuck It!"

Is there some rule saying I have to be nice when other people treat me like shit?


I've been looking for another job. Been doing the rounds of the local businesses. Then on Saturday morning I got a bite! The flashest hotel in town offered me a job! It was part time so it would kinda fit around Nicole, which is what I want.

I talked to Nicole about it and explained someone else would have to look after her sometimes when I was working. She asked if it would 'give me more money' than my current job, when I said yes it would , she was quite happy for me to take it.

There were a few childcare issues that I had to be able to work around to be able to take the job. It required me to start at 8.30am, where as Nicole doesn't start school untill 9am. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find someone who will keep an eye on her for half an hour and make sure she gets to school. $6 every morning at the local childcare centre. Which didn't have any vacancies anyways.

They also wanted me to work weekends sometimes. Not having family nearby who would look after her for 4-6 hours occassionally, I have to rely on either friends, or a paid babysitting service. I frequently help my friends out by having their kids when they need someone to look after them. Yet would any of them look after Nicole? Hell no. Fuck that, i'm not going to do it anymore if its not reciprical. So I would have to pay a babysitting service to care for her. $33-47 a day.

So I would be paying at least $50 a week childcare. It was way too much. I couldn't afford it, so I had to turn the job down :(

I get pissed off with people who have their parent's or in-laws close who babysit their kids at the drop of a hat, yet take them for granted. I guess I'm just jealous about the things other families have, yet we don't. And I can't provide for my daughter, no matter how hard I try.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Another one of my stories...

The_Wedding

Where do I get the ideas for my stories from? Most of them are either my own fantasies (the tamer ones, I have yet to write about my more 'exotic' ones) or from conversations I've had with other people.